Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Mr. Copy and Mr. Paste

Hokay, so I've just literally just finished turfing all of my blog posts from Tumblr to Blogspot. I honestly didn't realise quite how much I had written! Thank God for Mr. Copy and Mr. Paste! Eternal gratifications to them two! Not only have they made my life so much easier in this instance, but the Daily Mail wouldn't actually exist if it wasn't for them. Well, it probably would, but it would be reduced to the truly dismal task of quality journalism. Wouldn't that be just terrible.

Anyway, here's my new and future blog. This is what I'll be using to allow an insight into my life from now on as it is just so much better. 
I do know that as a result of my transferring actions, some of the pictures are smaller then what they  were, and that some are missing all together. But I challenge you you find me an archive on this planet that's fully complete. At least you got all the words. Be happy for that. 

Speaking of the Daily Mail, it would appear that they have advertised a job vacancy in the Guardian (anybody who has ever been confused by the definition of 'irony'? Well, this is it.)

Daily Mail

•Britain’s most successful newspaper group is offering would-be reporters and writers an exciting and challenging yearlong training course, plus the chance to work at the Daily Mail and Mail Online

•We are looking for bright, sharp, intelligent writers who believe they can be fast-tracked to the very top

•You’ll be on the best journalism course in the business – and be paid a competitive salary while you train

•Successful applicants will probably have completed post-graduate journalism training or had experience working in newspapers

Apply by February 21, with your CV, 200 words on why you think you could be a Mail journalist, a 200-word news story and a selection of up to six cuttings and send to Sue Ryan, Trainee Reporters’ Scheme, Daily Mail, Northcliffe House, 2 Derry St, London W8 5TT. 
Please send queries to sue.ryan@dailymail.co.uk
Somebody who blogs under Consume Conform Obey has even gone as far as to bash up a letter of application to Sue Ryan and urged that anybody with any degree of competence with a keyboard do the same - ie. Has knowledge of where the Ctrl + C and V buttons are located and possess the ability to use them.

Anyway, I thought that I would no doubt give it a go too. 

Dear Sue, 
I am writing in response to the job advertisement that you published in the Guardian. I like how you've tried to expand into employing actual talent there, but I honestly don't think that the type of people that read the Guardian would really be too interested in writing for the Daily Mail; below them, perhaps?  
I digress, I would be very interested in the opportunity to be able to write quality journalism for your much respected and sourced tabloid as I am incredibly interested, as a student and lover of the everything English, to be able to consequently throw away all my morals and dignity to be the author of literature, of a level which is nearly matched by a children's story book, that causes public outrage with speculation and lies. 
I feel that this would be the perfect job for me and that I would be able to integrate myself neatly with your current staff as I would consider myself a very politically savvy left-winger who is willing to do whatever it takes to get a scoop; even if it means phone hacking. Unfortunately I do not possess any degree of journalism experience, but my English teacher once said to me that I would make a good journalist one day if I ever chose to take a route down that career path. Gracefully, this is a route that may have possibly come open to me with this vacancy! I look forward to hear back from you.
 Yours sincerely,
A person with intelligence and a functioning moral compass. 

Time to copy and paste this into and email to send it to the lovely Sue Ryan. I feel that I have put myself on excellent standing with this application. I really have high hopes for this going well for me!
I would suggest that you do the same, but I don't want my chances scupper'd by your superior letters of application!

1 comment:

  1. Love it. I will in fact be joining you in applying for this post in a most facetious manner. xD
    I feel a little bit sorry for Sue Ryan though... the amount of mean emails she's gonna have to read! lol x